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Issue 31
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JBC Contract

JBC is Back!

It feels great to be back folks! Expect more from the JBC now that we're back. So without any further interruption here is Issue 31.

JBC Top Story

The JBC Returns?

Run for your lives!

The JBC's late return has prompted much of the Culde-sac to ask why? Feeling bored and inspired I decided to re-open the JBC and write the articles that you all know and love. Besides life around Peach Creek is a little boring now don't you think? In the last few months there have been no kidnappings, no fires, no disasters, no broken bones, and worst of all no property damage. I owe it to the good people of Peach Creek to provide a chaotic yet informational life for them. Now a few people may be harmed in all of this but its all in good fun. As long as its not me being harmed I'm of ok with this. I took it upon myself to question a few of the kids to ask them what they think of the JBC's return.

Justin: So Jimmy what do you think of the return of the JBC?

Jimmy: You mean...You're back?

Justin: Yes Jimmy we're back and ready to write great articles for you and the rest of Peach Creek.

Jimmy: Sarah!!!!!

Needless to say Jimmy was so greatly appreciative of our return he ran away with tears of joy in his eyes running for his young little life. We've gotten many sweet gifts since our return was announced. We've recieved great notes saying many things that I don't even understand. I know a lot of you must be asking, "What happened to the staff?" Yeah I'm just kidding no one cares about them. Anyway there has been some slight staff changes. Here are the staff members that will remain with the JBC:
Starting Line up for the JBC
Justin: Of course I own this thing.

Dr. Eric: He was forced to return.

Johnathan: Hes still under contract so hes stuck.

Blake and Tyler: Both of them have decided to return on their own.

Lynn: Yeah shes back even though shes a bit lazy she accepted the job offer once again.

Daniel: Hes always just been there.

There you have it the starting line up for the new JBC. Now I know all of you are asking when the issues will come out. Well just check back every week and maybe if you're lucky you'll see a new one. The problem that I have all the time is getting the other's articles because well to put it nicely they're bums. I will admit too that on a few occasions its been my own laziness. Other than that a new section has been added to the issues which we are cleverly calling "Ask the Editor". Each week we take questions from you the viewers about anything you want to ask about. I won't go into any more detail since its on the first page and you have no excuse not to see it.On top of that every week we will make a small update to the site such as the music video of the week. So be sure to check the front page for nifty things to do while you're waiting for a new issue.Because if you're a veteran visitor you know how long some updates take. It feels great to be back and you can be assure that the articles you learned to love or hate will still remain the same.

~Justin~

(JBC Staff Editor)

Peach Creek Medical Journal

We're Back Folks

Can anyone say malpractice suit?

As I dust off my keyboard and sit down to write yet another article for the Jawbreaker Chronicle I am struck by just how long it has been since our last update. Many things have happened in the near year that the Jawbreaker Chronicle first closed its doors. Time has changed all of the staff in some ways, but I feel that I may have changed the most. You see shortly after we, the staff, took our year long break from writing the Jawbreaker Chronicle, I was diagnosed with moderate schizophrenia. After being admitted to a psyche ward and being given many many sessions of shock therapy, I can safely say that I am very nearly cured.



Unfortunately this turn of events has led me to question the authenticity and validity of all the articles I have written in the past. I have therefore been led to believe that everything within every single article I have written is completely false. It is hard to believe and I feel I must sincerely apologize to every single reader of the JBC. Now with that out of the way I have one more piece of bad news. This latest fiasco has unfortunately prompted the medical board to retract my title of “Doctor of Medicine”. I am now to be referred to as Intern Eric. Now with that out of the way I can continue with what is to be my first issue as a reformed and productive member of society!



It has come to my attention that many scientists have begun to question the authenticity of the physics shown in Ed, Edd, n Eddy. Indeed, some scientists have claimed “The physics portrayed within Ed, Edd, n Eddy are dreadful. The ridiculousness and shear hilarity of each and every stunt within the show leaves the audience unable to adequately connect with the show and worse, makes it appear like a simple cartoon. We, the United Physics Enforcement Agency, push for scientific accuracy within all future episodes of Ed, Edd, n Eddy”. At press time we were unfortunately unable to reach anyone within Peach Creek, but they most likely would have declined to comment anyway. Left only with the opinions of my fellow JBC staff members to pull from, I asked a select few what they thought about the situation. Sadly there is no loyalty in journalism as both mop, trash can, pencil, and wad of gum refused to comment on the situation. My personal opinion on the matter is that everyone around me is going crazy and I need to escape from this place as fast as I can. That is why I must now bid you all adieu as I gather up my office supplies, shoes, and tootsies roll wrappers before heading off to Bermuda riding my One-Eyed-One-Horned-Flying-Purple-People-Eater. I must leave now, so…..THIS MESSAGE WILL NOW SELF-DESTRUCT IN 10….9….8…7…6…5…4…..3…2…1……

~Dr. Eric~

(JBC Physician)

Sports Ed

A New Paintball Fad? Or Another Scam?

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In the past week this sportscaster has seen something incredible. The Eds have started their very own paintball league for Peach Creek. Edd has designed 5 different model paintball guns and has even made a miniature production line. So far there are two teams have have signed up for a
tournament. Kevin Rolf and Jonny are together under team HotRodPizza. While the Kankers are under a team as the Kankers (I've heard they aren't even carrying guns they're just throwing paintballs, which hurt more). Battle arena's have been set up in the junkyard, playground, and under the power lines. For now I'm trying to get together a JBC team. But after seeing the mark on my back from the paintball Lee threw at me when I tried to get their comments on the other team Dr. Eric and Justin have refused. However I should be able to get Blake and Jacob to be my sheilds, I mean teammates of course.

~Johnathan~

(JBC Sports Writer)

JBC Freelance Articles

Victor Found!

Victor yayness!

Recently the kids of the Culde-sac have found Victor. He has been missing for a little over two weeks. He was found late last week in believe it or not the JBC. The reward was $2.00 which was sanctioned by Rolf.

Rolf was very happy at the results. "Thank you, Blake boy! Rolf is very pleased. Rolf sent search parties for this particular emergency," he said. I don't know why he said Blake because I didn't do anything.

"I can't believe how long ago Victor's mental block was," said Nazz,"I am very happy for Rolf." She ended with looking at a dress and saying, "That's hot."

Well, Rolf is happy again. You know I had nothing else planned to say. So, let's end with saying ," HOORAY FOR ROLF!!!!" Oh, and I didn't do anything. Remember that!



~Blake~

(JBC Freelance Writer)

Eddy Sued in Nudity Fiasco

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Eddy has been ridiculed lately. He challenged Kevin to a fight in an arm wrestle and lost. Everyone made fun of him for almost a week. Eddy also was mocked for his attempt to steal his jawbreakers, ask Nazz out, and trying to sell Plank a cow. "It had gone too far, and I wanted to show them all," Eddy replied.


Another week later, Eddy decided to go "EAT MY SHORTS!" to Kevin. He pulled his pants down and grossed out everyone in the cul-de-sac. In other news, Jimmy threw up. Anyway, Kevin decided to sue Eddy for a nudity charge, but a judge wasn't availible so they used Rolf. Rolf reports, "So Rolf decided to be judge sir for this case."

Going back and fourth for hours, Eddy was finally proven guilty. Luckily for Eddy, Rolf being old worldly, decided that the fine was 4 eggs, 7 turnips, and a watermelon. The fine was paid off and Eddy was set free. The rest of the kids were still very upset at the ruling. Kevin said," I was so mad that Dorky was set free that I wanted to scream. I wanted to send his butt to jail." "I don't see what I did wrong," Eddy replied,"Revenge is sweet to me, and there's a thing called luck. I had it and it doesn't visit me often."

~Tyler~

(JBC Freelance Writer)

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~Lynn~

(Advertisement Specialist)

Ask The Editor

Ask The Editor

Every issue starting now we're featuring an Ask the Editor seciton. We're willing to answer any and all your questions so drop us a line at thejbc@gmail.com In honor of the first Ask the Editor this weeks question comes from the JBC's very own Blake.

Dear Editor,

WHEN IN GOD'S NAME ARE WE GOING TO GET PAID?!!
~Blake~

Thats a very good question Blake. Heres my answer. The JBC does not or will ever have the necessary funds to pay its staff members. All profit goes towards the JBC's projects such as the space station, satelites, security system, building renovations, and other useless junk. However you will receive and big ol' hearty handshake from me the Editor. Keep up the good work Blake and I expect back change from the handshake because my time is very valuable.

~Justin~

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The Jawbreaker Chronicleİ 2002-2006 All Articles are the original ideas of the staff members of the site. The creator isn't liable for any content taken by staff members. Please don't take our articles. If you would like to use one please email the Editor.

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