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Here's issue 25 sorry for the delay. We had technical difficulties meaning we were lazy. Well I think you will like this issue because it is confusing. Here is issue 25 coming at ya!

Top Story
New Clue Found in Plank's Dissapearance

Where is Plank?

 
 
As of last week there has been no sign or clues of Plank's kidnapping. Still nothing seems right since everyone's stories seem to check out. One lead that is very shallow may be explored however since there is no other choices that authorities can take. Last year Eddy was abducted as well by two crazy fans who were trying to make a quick buck by auctioning him off on the internet. By hacking into the mainframe of the prison which we will keep that information private we found out that the two convicted were released two weeks ago. Putting all of that aside we can't forgot about the people who are hurt by this tragedy. Jonny finally gave us a chance to interview him.
 
Justin: So Jonny obviously you're upset over this matter so I'm not going to be the typical idiotic reporter and ask you about that. But, knowing you there is probably a plan that you are going to do. Am I right?
 
Jonny: No I have no idea what to do!? I miss Plank!...
 
Jonny started to cry which made me uncomfortable so I took off running. The JBC is launching our own investigation with Dr. Eric heading it so that all morals and and human rights will be thrown out the window. Just two days ago we found foot prints by the park sandbox and to our surprise a note. Could this possibly be a ransom note? Or could this be a note from Plank himself?
--To be continued--
~Justin~
JBC Editor

Top Story
Jawbreaker Shortage?

Jawbreakers!

This is Emily, reporting the top stories.  I’m here first at the scene of a huge riot outside of the local candy store where jawbreakers are sold to the residents of the culde-sac.  It has been announced by the stores owner that there is indeed a shortage in jawbreakers.  No one knows exactly what has caused this sudden shortage, but we can be sure the results will be devastating.  Not only will fewer jawbreakers be sold now, but due to supply and demand the price will raise.  No one is quite sure exactly how much the price will rise, but simply mentioning it has caused uproar in the consumers nationwide.  The residents of the culde-sac in particular…

           The riot that is being led by jawbreaker addict Eddy is finally settling down, questions are constantly being asked, but no answers are yet being given.  We have told the owner of the candy store to keep us informed on any updates of the situation.

~Emily~

JBC Top Story Reporter

Sports Ed
Time Machine Destroys Baseball field

bright light

 
Coming to the third game Eddy's team has the first bat so lets see how they start out. Eddy is up to bat, swing and a miss, next pitch, a long ball to center field, this is surely going to be a double. Wait, he only made it to be first since he is lazy. Edd is up next so far Edd isn't doing very well in this series. Ball one; keen eye there. Well a few strikes, and that's an out. Edd still struggling with a 1.25 batting average. Now Johnny is at bat, they've placed Nazz on the mound to save Kevin's arm for hitting, and it looks likes he can't keep the bat up and that ends it for the Eds.
 Well, Kevin will lead off for his team and here comes the first pitch, strike one. Kevin not looking to happy on that call by Rolf. Here comes the next pitch and its hit towards third. and the ball is caught by Ed's teeth! Nazz is up to bat, one ball, a second ball, and a third one, she's been walked. Sarah is up, Hit with the pitch! That means she takes a base. Rolf gives a wink to Eddy on that pitch. Two on base, Jimmy up to bat, strike one. Jimmy showing signs for bunting and he lays one straight down third base line a perfect bunt. Nazz runs in between the confusion but Eddy has tagged Sarah bringing an end for the first inning.
 The Eds are up. Ed is up hoping to blow open this game and...Holy Toledo what is that?!
Folks it seems a time machine has appeared out of nowhere! It has JBC markings and it looks like it's built cheaper then the Eds rocket car!
 "Hey don't mock me!" said Eddy.
 "I believe he meant that as a compliment Eddy..." said Edd.
 "What's with this guy doing all this he said she said stuff!?" Eddy yelled. "STOP THAT!"
 Well, upon the landing of this..."thing" it's been made fairly certain that the game cannot continue as the field has been destroyed, along with the chances of Eddy getting an allowance from his parents for lawn keeping chores. The size of the crater in the middle of the field is very large, I haven't seen action like this since I was a freelancer; and even then some of it was pretty weak! Rolf has kicked in the door of the craft, and now three figures are emerging... They appear to be, Justin? Dr. Eric?! The butler from Clue!?!?
 It looks like this reporter will be doing back breaking work to fix the field if he wants to stay at the JBC, and so will Justin and Rolf and Kevin and Eddy and Dr. Eric and Ed if they wanna play baseball. I'm probly gonna end up doing it all myself but as long as I know there is someone out there reading this wanting to know what happends in the end, then it'll possibly be maybe half worth it.
~Jonathan~
JBC Sports Reporter
 
Note from the editor: I am not responsible for anything broken during time travel so Jonathan you will clean up the field. Just thought I'd let you know.

Peach Creek Medical Journal
Time Machine and Baseball?

way cool

           

 

Last week in the Jawbreaker Chronicle, through my brilliant deductions, we found out that we were not in an escape pod as we had thought, but a time machine. This week continues my journal of our trip.

           I came to and blinked. My head felt as if it had been hit with a hammer several times. Holding my hand to my head I looked around the shuttle and saw that Winston and Justin appeared to be okay, although Winston’s nose was bleeding and Justin seemed to have a large bruise forming on his head. Where are we, I thought.

 

            “Justin!” I shouted across the pod.

 

            “What?” came Justin’s shaky reply a couple seconds later. “What happened?”

 

            “I think we just got sent back in time.”

 

            “Where to?” Justin asked, sitting upright and examining our surroundings.

 

            “I believe the question is when,” I answered, shaking Winston.

 

            Justin came over and tried to feel for a pulse. “He doesn’t have a pulse!” he exclaimed, “He’s dead!”

 

            “Not quite. You see Winston isn’t exactly my butler, he’s a robot that was built to protect me from any person who might want to do me harm. As you can imagine, that number has been quite high since I started my medical career.”

 

            “Right…,” Justin muttered, examining Winston’s face. “Then what’s that,” he asked, pointing towards the blood dripping from Winston’s nose.

 

            “Motor oil,” I answered quickly before adding, “And the bone sticking out of his arm is actually a plastic polymer specially developed for strength and durability. I never expected to go back through time, so I saved $300 by not having him equipped with a time dispersion field.”

 

            “What’d you buy with that?”

 

            “An Ipod.”

 

            “Oh.”

 

            “I think the most pressing issue now is to find out when we were at the moment.”

 

            “Don’t you mean when we are?” Justin asked.

 

            “No, we’re in the past so properly speaking we ‘were somewhere’.”

 

            “Right, whatever. Let’s just have gone outside and saw where we were.”

 

            “Now you’ve got it,” I said, turning towards the door and twisting the handle. With a quick jerk I threw it open and winced at the sudden light. Stepping out I heard a voice booming all around me.

 

            “In a spectacular turn of events, it appears that some kind of machine has materialized in the middle of the playing field. Someone now appears to be stepping out…wait make that two people.”

 

            Another voice interrupted the former, “You know Bill, this has got to be the most interesting thing to happen since last week when that couch appeared in the middle of that cricket game over in England.”

 

            “I agree with that Ned. It appears that the home team has called a time out. Indeed the owner of the home team is walking towards the two strangers. Boy I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes right now.”

 

            Looking up, my sight finally beginning to focus, I saw a blob approaching me. Blinking a couple times my eyesight came into focus and I saw someone I never expected to meet. It was myself! I suddenly realized when we were! We were two days ago at the baseball game in Peach Creek. I had been coaching because Eddy was home sick.

 

            “Umm…hi,” I muttered looking at myself.

 

            “Hi,” I answered back, “What the heck are you doing here?”

 

            “You know it’s really quite a long story and I really…hey, aren’t you going to try to kill me?”

 

            “What?”

 

            “Well in all the movies whenever someone sees themselves from the future, they always try to kill them because they think they’re demons or something.”

 

            “I’m used to it. I see people a lot. In fact I just spoke with Aunt Margret yesterday.”

 

            “She died ten years ago,” I said sympathetically.

 

            “Oh my God,” I whispered, starting to tear up. “How?”

 

            “Rubber glove. Listen, you’ll find out all about it tomorrow during a commercial break in the Peach Creek World Series. Just remember to swallow the pretzel before you pick up the phone.

 

            “Right. So is there anything I can help you with?”

           

            “Not really,” I answered, looking towards the ship. “In fact we were just about to leave.”

 

            “You mean you and Justin? He’s been staring at me over my shoulder for the past five minutes.”

 

            “Not that that’s unusual,” we both answered in unison. We both chuckled.

 

            “What’s so funny?” Justin asked, coming out of some kind of trance.

 

            “Nothing,” the future I answered, “Look we better get going back.”

 

            “And how are we going to do that?” Justin inquired, glaring at future me.

 

            “Well I suppose we could push the “return from whence you came” button.” I pointed towards the console.

 

            “They thought of everything,” Justin muttered under his breath.

 

            “Well it’s a pleasure meeting you,” I said, extending a hand towards the past me.

           

            “Likewise,” I answered. “I look forward to becoming you.”

 

            With that I quickly climbed back inside the pod and after Justin had gotten in, closed the hatch. After that I made sure my seat belt was fastened and began running some diagnostics. I heard Justin mutter something to my right about music or something.        

 

“I have over 800 songs on it,” I answered, continuing my diagnostics.

 

            “What?”

           

            “I thought we were talking about Ipods.”

 

            “I said ‘push the button’, what did you think I said?”

 

            “Nothing,” I quickly replied and with that pushed the “return from whence you came button”.

 

            For a moment nothing happened and suddenly nothing continued to happen. Just as I was about to unbuckle my seatbelt and check to see what was wrong, nothing ceased to happen and everything took its place. I witnessed the birth of stars, worlds, galaxies, a falling pot of petunias, and a rather surprised looking whale, before losing consciousness once again.

 

            I’ve begun to get some hate emails from people wondering when this story is going to end. I can only say that it will end when it is properly told and not an issue before that. To all those who argue that this has nothing to do with medicine, you are absolutely right. Do I care? No. So deal with it.

~Dr. Eric~

Bla Bla Bla you know the rest

 

Note from the editor: Dr. Eric’s opinions are not linked to the JBC in anyway.

Click here to send hate mail to Dr. Eric Seriously

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