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Issue 10
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Thanks for being patient. Many problems with time revolving around this issue. There is no Sports-Ed this week because the writer is sick. Thanks for waiting and we hope you enjoy the 10th issue.
~JBC Staff~

Ed Involved in Punching Bag Scam

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Well Eddy is back and has already been scamming. He has probably came up with his dumbest idea yet. A punching bag. In his attempts to focus on Kevin Eddy has decided to build a punching bag. The only problem is that there isn't enough material to build it. So using the mind that Eddy has he decided to use Ed as the stuffing inside. When asked about this Eddy had this to say. "Come on! He's soft enough!" Well Kevin shortly found out that the object he was punching was alive. After opening the bag Kevin found Ed badly bruised. Kevin: " That Dork! He has reached an all time low!" Indeed he has. If you can remember just last week Ed was involved in a bed scam. Ed was asked about his involvement in the scam. Ed: " Kevin hits hard." Eddy insists that this isn't his fault and says that Ed climbed into the bag while him and Edd were building it. Kevin doesn't believe a word of this. Despite all of this Eddy refuses to give Kevin back his money. Edd is quite sure that Kevin will find a way to get back his money from Eddy as he always does. Well its good to have you back Eddy.
~Justin~
(JBC Headliner)

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Looking for Love in All the Wrong places

 A Freelance Article

 

During an interview with one of the JBC staff members, Lynn. The Eds were busy working on their newest scam, "The Candy Vending Machine" It was nothing more than screws and bolts wrapped in candy wrappers. They must have thought that the kids would be stupid enough to fall for it. But they did. Lynn started to ask the three failures some questions and she had no idea she was making an impression on the short penniless chump Eddy. Turns out he has a thing for Lynn. And he plans to send her paper flowers made by Ed and he thinks he can get her to date him. This is all too funny to be true. But one day he will realize hes nothing than a greedy loser. I'm sure he wouldnt want to hear the crap I've been saying about him, but oh well I was able to get an interview with the moron.

 

Connie: So Eddy, you think you're hot stuff and that Lynn would like you?

Eddy: heck yeah! I am hot! I'm the hottest guy around!

Connie: *rolls eyes* and why are you bothering her? Don't you have better stuff to do?

Eddy: Don't you have better questions to ask?

Connie: Don't argue with me you idiot!

Eddy: Dont call me an idiot! Why dont you shut up and go interview someone else?

Connie: Fine, you're a waste of my time anyway.

Eddy: Good to know!

 

 

~Connie~

 

P.S. No harm done Lynn.....I just needed an idea

*puppy eyes*

 

 

Comments from the Editor:

Lynn this is purely for entertainment purposes only and in no way reflects opinions on any of the staff members here at the Jawbreaker Chronicle. Lynn we all love you here because you are a valuable member to us. By the way I had nothing to do with this.

~Justin~

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Behind The Ed
Kevin's Opinion of the Ed's


Emily: Hello Kevin, can I have an interview with you?
Kevin: Sure I guess.
Emily: Ok....What's your opinion on Ed?
Kevin: Eds a dork... what else is there to say?
Emily: What makes him a dork?
Kevin: Come on! You've seen him do stupid things. He tied my shoes to his hand, destroyed Jonny's house, and much much more!
Emily: You do have a point there
Emily: What about Edd?
Kevin: Edd is ok. He really doesn't get in my way too much and rarely causes me problems. Except when he ruined my bike chain with tooth paste. But since he hangs out with Ed and Eddy he is still a dork.
Emily: Ok, you are aware Edd didn't intentionally ruin your bike chain though
Kevin: Are you saying its my fault dude!
Emily: No, I'm saying because of Ed and Eddy Edd wasn't thinking straight at all
Kevin: Still he's a dork.
Emily: OK, and finally Eddy, what's your opinion on him?
Kevin: Still he's a dork.
Emily: Ok, and finally Eddy, what's your opinion on him?
Kevin: Just to name a few... He's gobbed on my bike, distracted me from Nazz, destroyed my house, wrecked my chances with Nazz, Broke into my bath tub, tries to scam me from my money, and so much more!
Emily: I see
Kevin: Do you know where Eddy is now?
Emily: no not really
Kevin: That dork owes me a new bike!
Kevin: Kevin (Get back here Eddy!)
Emily:Ok, thanks for the interview
Kevin: (Im going to kill you dork I swear)

Well that was my interview with Kevin, although it was cut a bit short because Kevin ran after Eddy, I got another opinion about the Ed's.  It doesn't seem like they're too popular at all in fact.

~Emily~

(JBC Reporter for Behind The Ed)

 

Eddy's Back!

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After close examination, Eddy has turned out to be perfectly sane if not a bit eccentric. When asked about his experiences at the "Mental Institute", Eddy had this to say. "Mental Institute? All those guys did was stick me in the back of their truck!" Armed with this knowledge, we decided to track down the so called "health inspectors". Our search was quick, as the "inspectors" were found in the junk yard searching, presumably, for Eddy

Having hidden Eddy out of site, we carefully approached the "inspectors" and asked how Eddy was recuperating. "Uh,oh him, he's doing fine" was the only response we received. Deciding that this tactic wasnt working, we lured the "inspectors" away with the promise of donuts and searched their truck. 

Upon searching the truck we came to a startling revelation. These people weren't inspectors at all, but really Ed, Edd n Eddy fans gone crazy. Inspired by one of Eddy's latest scam, these fans decided to kidnap Eddy and sell him on Ebay in an attempt to make a profit. 

With this new information, we waited for the fans to return. Upon returning to their lair, the crazed fans were tranquilized and sent to, you guessed it, a mental institute.

~Dr. Eric PHD.~

(JBC Medical Writer)

Business-Ed
Ed Land Open For Business

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After a while in the planning stages it seems that Ed Land is open for business. After countless hours of preparation the Eds are ready for business. The park will feature all of the usual attractions such as a ferris wheel, merry-go-round, petting zoo, and many games. However, a new attraction was added late in the planning stage. Wreck-we-um-for-a-whiplash was added at the very end by Edd. " I spent a whole day building that contraption we might as well use it." Ed Land is scheduled to open on April 20th which is my birthday (Go figure)  Edd described it as a present to me for all the hardwork that the JBC staff has done for the Ed's publicity. The park is scheduled to be a big success.
~Justin~
(JBC Business Major)

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Ed-Vertisement
 
 
*Ed Land Opening Soon*
Don't miss out on Ed Land this Spring.With many rides and games to play you will spend all of your money while you are having fun.
 
*Prices*
 
Rides: 25 cents
 
Games: 25 cents
 
Food:  25 cents
 
 

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