I gasped in horror as the engines failed to light. We were doomed! Then I remembered. “Silly me,” I said, “I forgot to switch on the power button. Justin stared at me, dumbfounded; while Winston banged his head on the console (which he claims was purely accidental). I quickly switched the power button on and hit the engine ignition button again. The engines roared to life and drowned out the cheers that were no doubt coming from my comrades. I quickly strapped in as the g-forces mounted as the rocket sped towards the sky.

            “We made it,” I said at last, breaking the uneasy silence. “We escaped the Kankers, everything turned out fine.”

            “What about the staff?” Justin asked.

            “What staff?” I asked, “Must be my amnesia acting up again, it comes and goes.”

            “Right.”

            “So about this space station?” I asked, pointing towards the gigantic structure, “Exactly how much did it cost?”

            “Well,” began Justin, glancing around nervously, “About 4.2 trillion dollars.”

            “And where did you get this money?”

            “Well I was supposed to use it to pay the staff, but I figured who cares if I pay you or not? I’d rather just build an awesome space station.”

            “Right…So what exactly can it do?”

            “Well besides exist in space, it has the technology required to create an entire issue of the Jawbreaker Chronicle with the push of a button.”

            “What! Why haven’t you been using this station instead of locking me in a cage until I write a story?” I picked up a conveniently discarded pipe and starting banging it against my fist.”

            “Well…because…”

What horrible secret is Justin about to reveal? What exactly is the function of the space station? Does anyone really care?  Are you even listening to me? Find out in the next issue of the Jawbreaker Chronicle!

~Dr. Eric

(JBC Physician)

Sports-Ed

Battle on the Diamond

I am overjoyed that Justin offered me the job of Sports-Ed writer. Especially after I just stayed in the closet weeping after the Kanker attack instead of writing a story on the attack two weeks ago... Moving on... despite the recent lack of sporty events in the cul-de-sac, one just happened to pop-up in an event that started as a simple quarrel, escalating into an event in our history that no one will soon forget.

  It all started yesterday when Kevin and Eddy were trading insults as usual, but this time it was something more.
  "Oh yea!? I bet my team could beat your team into the dirt!" Kevin yelled at Eddy.
  "Yea, right! I'll give you ALL of all my records if they do!" Eddy yelled back.
  "Oh yea?! Well I bet ALL of my jawbreakers!" Kevin yelled back leaving everyone in aww.
  "HAHAHA! WE'RE GONNA WOOP YOU!" Eddy laughed ending the fight and leaving Kevin worried for just now realizing what he'd done.
  Incase your wondering about these teams, it is all about baseball. Yeap, you heard right. Kevin and Eddy have established Baseball teams, the rules have been changed to accommodate the small numbers and Rolf is the Umpire so this is sure to be an interesting game. The teams were Eddy’s Team which is literally the name of the team. The players were Ed, Edd, Eddy, and Jonny.

On the other side we had Kevin’s better than Eddy’s Team. The players for him were himself, Nazz, Sarah, and Jimmy. Both teams had zero statistics since obviously none had played before. Before the game began it started raining which sent the kids running. The game was rescheduled for next week at the same time and same place. We look forward to seeing who will win this exciting match.

~Jonathan

(JBC Sports Correspondent)

               The JBC was informed today that Victor Escaped. Many witnesses recall this incident. First we have Local resident Edd (or Double D) here to talk.

"The ground was rumbling Eddy, Ed, and I were doing a sunglasses scam. We went over to look and Victor was running around! Then, he sped out of control and suddenly crashed into the fence. He then ran off free into the streets...”

             Eddy had the same opinion on the matter as well.

“He ran around the Cul-de-sac like a gorilla on...ah I'll just get to the point. He ran around and then the idiot ran though and crashed our scam! MY SCAM! Well then he just cracked me up by hurting Sarah and some how got tangled up in Jimmy's braces. He broke free, and that's why Jimmy has new braces .Then Jimmy ran over to the JBC to tell his tragic tale.

“He got tangled in my brace! The thing popped out and Victor sped away. I had to go to the dentist! I HATE THE DENTIST!!!! WAH HA HAH HA HA HA!

              Local beauty, Nazz, was shocked to see all this. She had this to say,

“He spiraled out of control and made a crater in the cul-de-sac! Then he ran up the tree and stopped. I think he was afraid of heights. But a second later he jumped down like a monkey on a rampage. He then ran through the woods and the trees went down."

            We asked the owner of Victor, Rolf, why this all happened. He said,

”Rolf doesn't know, but could it be that Rolf gave him sugar frosted treats?

Rolf really misses Victor now. If you find Victor, contact Rolf. There is an intended reward but that has not yet been decided.

~Blake

(JBC Freelance Writer)

The Jawbreaker Chronicle© 2002-2006 All Articles are the original ideas of the staff members of the site. The creator isn't liable for any content taken by staff members. Please don't take our articles. If you would like to use one please email the Editor.