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FCC Is After Jonny
The FCC is after Jonny 2X4 after yesterday's show. Jonny apparently
ran around naked with only Plank covering him. The FCC says that it was extremely irresponsible for Jonny to do this especially
when young children are watching the show. Jonny was quoted saying this while running around naked. "Feel the wind Plank!" The Eds say that they werent disturbed by Jonny's behavior in the slightest. Eddy:
"We have come to expect this from him because he is the biggest weirdo ever." The JBC had this to say in Jonny's defense during
an interview with the FCC.
Justin: As the editor for the JBC I see nothing wrong
with this image. I mean no body parts are being shown at all.
FCC: Well still that is very immature behavior that is
very unsuitable for young children.
Dr. Eric: Once again no body parts are shown. As you can
see there isnt anything. I really dont think that children are going to run outside naked.
Justin: Jonny has always done stupid things. For example,
when Jonny crashed on a bike, where were you guys then?
FCC: Were not on that event. Were on this event.
Justin: Ive heard enough why dont you go focus on the
Super bowl incident?
We had to end the interview right there because we were losing
our tempers. Jonny has done many stupid things in the past such as the bike pixie which was a laugh. The point is we can't
be too mad at him because he doesn't know any better. The FCC is determined to jail Jonny very soon for
his so called "irresponsible adventure". Therefore we have to get a petition going in order to save Jonny from prison. Please
show your support by commenting on this situation. Send any and all comments to this petition area: JONNY'S INNOCENT
~Justin~
(JBC Headliner)
Plank Becomes Victim In a Horrible Prank
A cruel prank was played during
the night while Peach Creek slept. Sometime during the night some mysterious person stole Jonny's beloved friend Plank. He
was found later nailed to a nearby fence with the words "melon head" spray-painted over him. After safely retrieving his friend
and cleaning him off Jonny reported this crime to his parents, who then called us. "I'm here with Jonny and Plank here at
the scene." "And what do you think about this Jonny?"
"I say it's some guy's idea of revenge, Plank didn't see them but
we bet we know who did it. "
"And who might that be?"
"Plank
says Eddy did it." "He always gets mad when we ruin his scams, and he always calls Melon-Head."
"I see, well I hope
you find whoever did this." Eddy couldn't have done this to Plank because at exactly the time Plank was taken Eddy was spotted
in his bedroom fast asleep by a JBC personnel who is sent to monitor Eddy and everything he does. "I dont think Eddy did it."
Says Daniel B. a photographer for the JBC. "I was watching him all night to see if he did anything worth taking a picture
of." There are no other suspects left because the Kankers were out of town visiting there Dad Butch. Who is responsible for
this crime? No one really knows but Jonny assures us that the culprit will be found.
~Emily~
(JBC Top Story Reporter)
Peach Creek Health News
Double-D Gets His Brain Knocked Out
"His brain is falling out!" Early this morning the cry rang out throughout the neighborhood.
Apparently, after being hit by a baseball in the head, Double D was knocked out. Being the only one in the area, Ed immediately
took action. Hauling the unconscious Double D to his house he began stuffing potatoes in his ears. When asked "why he was
doing this, Ed replied, So his brain doesnt fall out silly!" We would have stopped this strange site, had it not been strangely
amusing. After filling Double D's ears completely with potatoes, Ed went off to seek further help from Rolf. Seizing the opportunity
to save Double D from real harm, we grabbed him and ran.
After two hours recuperating in our near by field outpost, Ed was able to return home. Feeling otherwise fine, his
only complaint was that he felt as if something was stuck in his ears.
~Dr. Eric~
(JBC Physician)
Sports-Ed
New
Drink Hits Culde-sac
Business people
of Peach Creek have designed the new caffeine-free sports drink called lightning-gizer.
The drink has
been a big hit in peach creek. Selling for a price of only 99cents. This drink has many electrolytes, along with 100% vitamin
C supplement and many different flavors like blobbo-berry, runaway-grape, unwanted-apple, and tropical-kaboom. I interviewed
with some of there biggest buyers of peach creek.
Connie: So Kevin,
Tell me about your favorite flavor of lightning-gizer.
Kevin: Runaway-Grape
is my favorite. It keeps me up and running on my bike and has me tempted to focus on the road.
Connie: Jimmy
tell me why you like this product.
Jimmy: Well,
I like it because it relaxes my brain and helps me focus. Its better than the Ed's sports drinks! Yuck!
Connie: Nazz,
tell me how this drink helps you.
Nazz: I bring
this drink to my dance class. My favorite flavor is tropical-kaboom! It helps me in my dance class for having more energy
and to feel fit and ready to dance.
As you can see,
this product is almost a top seller!
~Connie Huggett~
(JBC
Sports-Ed Writer)
Business Ed
Eddy Could Have Sold For Millions On Ebay
After last week's incident a poll was taken on Ebay where Eddy was supposed to be sold. After many hours
of going through all of the bids it was calculated that Eddy could have been sold for over 12,000,000 dollars! A total of
500,000 fans bidded on Eddy for two days before he was rescued by authorities. Eddy was quoted saying this after he heard
how much he could have been sold for. "What!? Why didn't you just let me be sold? I could have been rich!" Eddy was quite
pleased to be rescued and happy that he wasn't sold for millions of dollars. The criminals are being sentenced to three years
in prison for kidnapping. A new charge has come up called attempting to auction which requires one year in prison. Eddy was
worth millions to his fans but yet he doesn't have a dollar to his name.
~Justin~
(JBC Business Major)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Could it be true?
(JBC Freelance Article)
Rumor has it that Eddy is currently dating JBC reporter, Lynn. And who started this rumor, no one knows.
But I'm sure it was someone trying to embarass either Eddy or Lynn or both of them. I have my doubts but I think Kevin
started the rumor, since he is prone to taking actions like that. But luckily I was able to interview Ed and Edd, to ask them
if they believe the rumor is true.
Connie: So, Edd and Ed, do you believe that the rumor is true?
Edd: Well, I can't say no and I can't say yes. the truth is, I really don't know.
Ed: I forget what we are discussing, but can i have a bun?
Connie: You haven't noticed any change in Eddy's behavior or anything?
Edd: Not that I know of. He seems pretty normal to me
Connie: oh ok. Not even seeming alot happier?
Edd: Haven't really paid that much attention
Ed: uh what do i have to pay? i only have a penny!
Connie: Well thats alright, maybe you should consider spying on him
Edd: I don't think he would be too pleased with that.
Connie: Well, if you dont get caught, you could.
Edd: I don't think that would be necessary anyway.
Ed: oops you forgot about the ketchup!
Connie: Well thanks for your time, guys.
That's all for now, next time I'll interview Kevin.
~Connie~
(JBC Freelance Reporter)
Ed-Vertisement
Created by Connie and Lynn
Affiliates
JBC 2005
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The
Jawbreaker Chronicleİ 2002-2006 All Articles are the original ideas of the staff
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