Is the Cursed phone Really cursed?
(A long article but very good)
NOTE: As a member of the JBC and with the fact that I've been asleep for all the meetings, I've noticed I don't
have an office there, not that I'm not happy I haven't been forced to live in that insanely massive nuthouse, I mean
office. I have chosen to try and redeem myself by writing more articles. So this is the first of a few articles I'll write
to try and keep from getting thrown in that padded room in the office I call the closet, that Dr. Eric puts me in "for
the sake of mankind."
I woke up yesterday, and decided to try and find out about this cursed phone that I've heard rumors about.
I started my search with Eddy (who was in casts and bandages) and I approached him on this topic.
"Eddy, could you direct me to this cursed phone you have?" I inquired.
"NO! KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME!" was the answer I'd received from a rampaging pain inflicting Eddy.
As I was under attack I noticed Edd in the doorway waving me over, I managed to get out but I needed a while
for the stars to go away. After I'd recovered I began to question Edd.
"Do you have any clue where this phone is?" I'd asked him.
Edd replied with "The last record I know of is when Eddy gave it to Johny."
With the info I received I headed off to the woods where I predicted Johny would be stuck in a tree, when I
found the right tree I got him down for him to answer my questions.
"Jonny, where is the phone Eddy gave you?" I asked tiredly from a large lack of caffeine.
"In my room! And thanks for getting me down!" He replied gleefully.
"Can I have the phone?"
"Plank says, nope, it'll cost you a quarter!"
I dug in my pockets and pulled out a bottle cap, I offered it to him and he accepted. Now that I had the phone
I had a plan, and 2 colors of spray-paint.
It started by me not answering the phone and just working on it, by the time I was done the phone was no longer
gold and purple it was now black and red. I took the phone to Edd.
"Do ya want this phone Double D?" I asked hoping he'd accept.
"Perhaps. It does seem oddly familiar..." He answered while observing it.
"Never mind that! Why not take it apart, to learn! To experiment!" I said with a loud voice and my fingers crossed.
"OH HAPPY DAY!" Edd yelled ecstatically while taking the phone up to his room.
"Be careful now, there's a rumor that local phones have been cursed..." I said to him before he closed his door,
he chuckled a bit, then went to his room which I decided to observe to find out if the curse was lifted from Eddy, and if
it had been placed on Edd.
The first two hours was boring, he mainly took it apart, all that stuff, I missed dinner to watch this
so that meant I'd gone too far to turn back now.
In the third hour he began to put it back together, and it wasn't long before it rang. When I looked to see
what happened when he answered, the legs of his chair broke. Then it rang again, Edd looking very surprised shocked,
and scared answered it and a planet from his universe mobile fell onto his head, followed by all the rest. I'd already confirmed
the curse was real, but I was enjoying the show. When it rang again, Edd still convinced it was coincidence picked it up and
his ant farm burst releasing every one of his ants across the room.
By now I'd turned on my video camera to record the following few "unfortunate coincidences" to show Eddy. After
showing Eddy I went home reheated and ate my dinner, and drank many caffeine drinks. Needless to say I couldn't sleep, so
I made a steak out of Edd's house for odd late-night activity. Not too soon afterwards I saw Edd leaving his house going to
the middle of the cul-de-sac, after laughing at his attempts to open the sewer; he just dropped the phone on top and left
it there. I still couldn't sleep so I watched the phone until I saw Kevin riding his bike; he picked up the phone and took
it home. I saw many things happen to him then.
In conclusion of my report I believe the phone is cursed and that Edd secretly believes it too.
(JBC Freelance Reporter)