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Top Story
Light Shed on Plank’s Disappearance
So far it has been
three weeks since Plank was last seen. Over the last two weeks no signs of his disappearance have been found or any clues
about who his kidnappers were. Last week gave a little more hope when I discovered a note lying in the sandbox. I picked it
up and began to read it. Sure enough it was a ransom note. Upon further reading it I found out that Plank was being held in
a location near the Culde-sac. Hoping that the convicts were stupid enough to leave their names or address I continued reading.
Unfortunately I didn’t have much luck. If only I still had that processing machine I could find out whose handwriting
this was. Being my lazy self I shipped the machine to the space station where it was then placed inside the escape pod to
save room for the soda machine. That machine was destroyed when I slammed my head through the screen when we jumped through
time. I still haven’t recovered from that pointless adventure. Well I was left with just a ransom note with over one
hundred locations to search. Seeing that Dr. Eric was too busy expanding on an article topic that should’ve died weeks
ago and Jonathan still fixing Eddy’s yard, I decided to go and find these criminals myself. This way I could take all
the credit for finding them. I decided to gather materials from JBC headquarters to aid in my search for Plank. I then proceeded
towards the utility closet/Dr. Eric’s office where I simply deactivated his security system and walked in. I took his
fancy gadgets and headed back down stairs. Did you know that his security system is only a bucket of water sitting at the
top of his door? I walked past the senior reporter wing where I noticed a sign on Connie’s desk saying “Still
on vacation”. “Four weeks no article.” I said to myself. So for a split second I thought about cutting her
pay but then I realized that I needed to focus on my original task. My first location to search was Sarah’s room which
got me nothing besides a black eye and a bruised ego. Using my fool proof college educated plan of eeny meeney miney mo I
simply crossed out over ninety nine choices leaving only one. This location had to be it unless I crossed out the real choice
by mistake which happens a lot. Seeing as I could get hurt or possibly killed I thought about sending somebody else. But being
as it was Friday most of the staff was gone for the day and Jonathan was still fixing the yard I destroyed. So basically I
was stuck to do the dirty work. Where ever Plank was I was determined to find him by any means necessary.
~Justin~
JBC Staff Editor
Where is the secret location? Will Justin be able to find Plank in time? Who took Plank and why? And
where is Waldo? Find out this and much more in Issue 26.
Peach Creek Medical Journal
Major Recall on Jimmy's Ice Pops
Recent studies have shown that Jimmy's Ice Pops contain many harmful objects such as splinters,wood shavings,
and bad fruit. This has caused a recall on all ice pops. Jimmy disagrees with these allegations saying that it wasn't his
fault for that some of the popsicles became contaminated. Jimmy declined an interview with us and with Sarah right next to
him we respected his decision. So far recent side effects have been wood cuts, food poisoning, splinters on the tongue, and
vomiting. If anyone has bought any Jimmy Ice Pops we recommend that you return them and get your money back.
~Justin
(JBC Staff Editor)
Peach Creek Gossip Column
My Article?
We all know how Justin and Lynn decided to do me a favor
and write an article under my name since I havent been able to.
But they tried to get me in trouble with Dr. Eric so that wasn't very nice.
It makes you wonder why both of them decided to do my job? So doesn't
it seem like maybe there is something going on. Yep that's exactly what they are of course
they will deny it, but if anyone agrees with me just mention it in your next article.
we cant have them doing my job anymore now can we?
~Connie~
(JBC Gossip Column)
Note from the Editor: Using that last sentence actually I could since you haven't sent an article in for
four weeks. Oh and for the rest of the staff please remember I hold your job in the palm of my hand.
Sports Ed
Baseball Game Called a Tie
I've finallly finished fixing the basball field, and now everyone is anxious to know who won. There isn't
much I can tell you really, both Eddy and Kevin were hurt in the landing of the craft, so both of them almost called it quits.
Really, it ended with Eddy giving up a record, and Kevin giving all the Eds a jawbreaker. So it was more of a tie then either
team winning. The baseball field is in ruins and really there is no chance that the crater in the middle of the yard can be
fixed quickly. Just put the blame on Dr. Eric for now. My article is short because well there isn't much I can say. So I don't
have a real closing so I'll use this one. "Well that's my momma!" If you didn't understand that it's ok.
Final Comments on the Game
Maybe sometime they'll decide that it's time for a rematch, but until that day, if it ever comes, the
CBL is in the off season, and all my work on repairing the baseball field might be for naught.
~Johnathan~
(JBC Sports Writer)
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JBC 2005
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Jawbreaker Chronicleİ 2002-2006 All Articles are the original ideas of the staff
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